How to Write Content That Annoys Your Customers in 5 Steps


How to Write Content That Annoys Your Customers in 5 Steps

Obviously, that’s not what we want to do here, but we can all learn a thing or two from the top dogs, such as Apple, Coke and Lego. They’ve got their content marketing nailed. Take, for example, Apple. People who convert to Apple only ever usually buy Apple in future. Why? It all comes back to their values and beliefs. When you buy an Apple product you are buying a way of thinking. A voice and a tone. Personality. Usefulness. Not a piece of technology.

They don’t “sell” that. They sell the experience and this is what binds the loyal alliance of fans and users together. That’s what we need to remember with our own marketing messages. If you don’t and you “sell” to them – you will quickly lose them.

Here’s how to annoy your potential customers in 5 steps:

1. Use jargon and tech speak

You will not see jargon and industry-speak used in any worthy marketing campaign. It simply isn’t relatable. They are often not words everyday people use. Sometimes I find myself using newspaper terms like “sub” or “dummy” and I have to explain I’m not talking about a foot-long Subway sandwich or a pacifier parents use. I’m talking about proofreading and a page layout document. So why didn’t I just say that? Note to self.

2. Sell, sell, sell

I am firm believer that spin should be left as a job for your washing machine when it comes to really compelling content. Now that’s not to say it shouldn’t be persuasive, but it should be informative and educational first and foremost.

Think back to Apple. Do you ever see them advertising their price, or worse, a discounted price? Do you ever see them listing the features of the iPad? No, you see them showing people how the device can make life easier and how it can be used as an educational tool to learn music, study science or finish an assignment. It is about sharing the experiences you can have with it, not that it has 32GB of storage capacity, a 9.7-inch screen, an A7 chip and a 1080p HD video recording.

3. Dish out the cliches

I’ll let you in on a little secret – I love clichés. I think they are great. They are relatable and often people know what you’re talking about when you say something like, “the grass isn’t always greener, hey?” But I have to put my writing hat on now and tell you there’s, sadly, no place for them in your content. After all, how can you create a unique style if you’re using the same expressions as everyone else?

4. Tease them

How annoying is it when you’re interested in a topic but the writer has only given you half the story? Then you go hunting for more details, wasting time and getting frustrated only to find you almost have to give up your first born to get them, along with all of your contact details. Don’t tease your readers, thinking they will click on the link because you’ve been mysterious and not forthcoming with the important details. Give them all the info they need to make their decision because, nine times out of 10, they will leave your site and get the info elsewhere.

5. Offend them

You need to mind your p’s and q’s when you’re writing on the web.

There are three main rules I follow:

  1. Don’t swear
  2. Don’t be offensive
  3. Don’t be negative

Digital content is used to enlighten, teach and connect with your readers – who are your customers and potential customers. It should be engaging and it has to add value to their time they spend on your site.

That’s why I believe it’s important to:

  • – Write intelligently
  • – Have a conversation
  • – Be positive, solve people’s problems and give solutions

It is essential to be professional at all times and consider what you’re writing and whether it will cause offence. Of course, you can’t please everyone. But you will know what is acceptable and what’s not in your industry. Remember, this is your business and your brand. These are your customers. You want to look after them and nurture them, not annoy and offend them!

What things do you find annoying when it comes to content on the net? Shoot me a comment below.

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