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How to Achieve Everything You Want in Life, Without Being Fearless!

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How to Achieve Everything You Want in Life, Without Being Fearless!

The week my book came out, I was called ‘fearless’, three times by three different friends.

The overall reaction was extremely positive and supportive, including the people who made the fearless statements and the statements themselves. And while my gratitude was enormous, by the time I heard the word ‘fearless’ for the third time, I was starting to feel uneasy.

It was a busy week, with an unusually large workload. But all I could think about was why being called fearless was making me feel so weird. It was a good thing, right? It was on my mind so much that a few days later I phoned one of the friends who said it and asked why?

“I love the way you go after everything you want and don’t care about what other people think. You don’t care if you fail.”

So, I had my answer, and I knew exactly why I was feeling so uneasy. Why hearing it had made me cringe. See, that is exactly what I think when I think of someone who is fearless. But that person isn’t me.

The perception of fearless. 

I can see how it might look like that from the outside. As business owners, and a family in general, we go after what we want. We take risks. We fail. And we fly. But it isn’t without the absence of fear.

My book was a long time coming. Since I was five years old, I’ve written stories and talked about being a writer. I took writing workshops as a kid. Journalism subjects at Uni and wrote white label stories and articles as an adult. But until two years ago, I’d never put my name publicly to anything. It’s taken me that long to claim it, to finally kick that goal. And it’s because I was living in fear. I’d say things to myself like, “What if no one reads it?” or “What if someone does read it and they hate it?” and it would stop me in my tracks.

Now, I’m telling you this because I think the perception of fearlessness is what stops a lot of people achieving their goals. Looking on in awe of the people who are living their dreams. Thinking that they need to have some kind of iron fear barrier to live an amazing life; when the truth is fearlessness just doesn’t exist.

So, what changed for me? 

I think what changed for me was realising that if I was going to do something that I was truly proud of, it wasn’t going to be without emotional challenges. I had to stop waiting to wake up one day, magically cured of all my limiting beliefs. Because yeah, I still have them. Every. Single. Day.

I am probably the least ‘fearless’ person you will ever meet. But I want something better out of my life than a list of things I didn’t do because I was scared. If my voice shakes, I stop, take a breath and keep going. If I’m scared, I acknowledge it, take a breath and keep going. If someone laughs at me, I let them, take a breath and keep going.

And if I fail, I get back up, take a breath and keep going. And that is how you achieve everything you want in life, without being fearless.

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